This week 2 years ago.

WARNING THIS POST WILL BE LONG!!!

It all started about 18 years ago. Steve and I met through our young adults group. I had been going to the Church since I was 15 he came in his 2nd year of Uni. My first memory of him was not a positive one. We were at a family night and we were divided into teams and then we had to do a play. My memory of Steve was this crazy curly haired young guy in freezer works gumboots, that was his costume for the play. You can safely say at that time I wasn't attracted to him.
We got to know each other better over the next year or so and became good friends. I started to become 'interested' I told a friend who told him and we went on a couple of dates. But that was as far as it went at that time, he did the "I just want to be friends" speech. Broke my heart at the time. I have vivid memories of listening to "The Proclaimers" and "Enya" into the wee hours of the morning, and writing soppy poetry etc.
Over the next couple of years I dated a couple of other guys and 'got over him'. But we were still really good friends. We had the same group of friends and did things together practically every weekend.
I was 22 and still at home and desperately wanting to go flatting. I told Steve and he said well I want to buy a house and get flat mates in. I thought this was a great idea and within a few months he had bought a house and I became his sole flat mate. At that time I had just started dating another guy from our young adults group and this ended in tears after a few weeks. Well Steve was there to console me and I said to him "damn Techies you all break my heart" I had dated 2 and been very keen on another Massey Technology student. He laughed.
Over the next couple of weeks he started showing signs that he wanted more than flatmates. I said to my friends I can't go there, I am flatting with him it just wouldn't be right. But now 14 years of marriage later you can see we did get together.
When we got married we made a decision that we would like to start a family after 5 years of marriage and when I was 30. I was about to do my nursing training and I wanted to get some experience after I had finished.
When I finished my training Steve got offered a secondment to Reading, England. We jumped at the chance, Steve is English and all his family excluding imediate family are over there. At the same time we decided that we would start 'trying' to get pg. I went off the pill and things didn't go back to normal. Initially we thought surely it couldn't happen that quickly and for us it didn't. Before going to England we spent 3 months in Saudi Arabia. We had no support and no medical care. We had to wait until we got to England to seek help. When we got to England the Dr wasn't prepared to do anything because we hadn't been trying for 12 months. But I wasn't having a normal cycle and I just knew there was something not right. Eventually the Dr agreed to send me to a specialist. The specialist asked for my history and before doing any tests said I had polycystic ovarian syndrome. HUH, what the? I went on to have awful, embarrassing ultra sounds and it was confirmed I did indeed have PCOS! Fortuantely there was some pretty good drugs to help me and within 3 months we were pregnant with Tobyn. We were ecstatic!!!
Fast forward. Tobyn was 1 and we decided he was such an easy baby and we had had such a hard time getting pg with him that it was time to start trying again. This time it was not that easy! I used the same medication but it didn't work. I had many blood tests and ultra sounds. I also had an op that actually worked and I got pg but miscarried at about 10 weeks. After that nothing would work. Tobyn was 5 and we decided it was time to look into adoption. We did the course and put together our profile. It was very exciting, all of us, including Tobyn were looking forward to the future. Then things changed again.
There was a job Steve was interested in in America. One of his colleagues was lined up for it but didn't want to do it. Steve approached his boss about it but they were not considering him because they knew we were looking into adoption. But we were keen!!! We knew that we could possibly get help there that we couldn't here. We also knew that it was an awesome opportunity and we would get some wonderful experiences from the 18 months. So eventually they agreed that he was the right guy for the job.
We moved to the States just after Tobyn turned 6. Soon after we arrived there I saw a Dr who quadrupled my medication within a few weeks. He also put me onto a specialist and things were rolling. I was going to the gym and losing weight and we were having an awesome time. It was hard being away from family and friends and Tobyn did find it hard to settle in but it was all good.
While we were there Steve's Grandma died and we got to go to England for the funeral. It was perfect timing for Tobyn, he got to see Grandad and Grandma again and then go back 'home' he then settled into American life really well.
As far as the treatment was going for me, there was a plan. If I hadn't had a period by a certain date then we were trying another medication. Over that time frame Steve was going back to NZ on a business trip and his parents were visiting for 3 weeks. So I figured there was no way it would happen then. Well wouldn't you know it???!!!
The pregnancy was not an easy one right from the get go. At 6 weeks I had a small bleed and Steve and I thought this is it and had a good cry. I was sent for a scan and all was fine, WHEW. OK lets get to 12 weeks. But at 10 weeks while I was at the gym I had a large bleed. Again, sure that it was over. Yet again a scan showed things were fine. I had done alot of reading about PCOS and pregnancy and requested a blood test to check my progesterone and sure enough it was very low so I was put on progesterone supplements. Everything continued pretty smoothly. Though I had been put on low activity. No gym, no vacuuming, I had to be a couch potato. This was good for my crafts but not good for my self esteem. I had been really enjoying the gym!!!
My BP started rising and needed to be monitored closely. I was refered to a perinatologist, a VERY special pregnancy doctor. A scan with the perinatologist showed that the baby only had a 2 strand umbilical cord. Quite uncommon and not a lot known about it really. But some of the concerns are heart problems, kidney problems, and some genetic problems. GREAT something else to worry about! I did a search on the net and found out a bit, but basically I decided it was a slim chance there was something wrong. But until the baby was born I did worry a little. My biggest fear was fragile X, a genetic developmental problem in our family. My sister has a son with it and as adorable as he is he is hard work.
Fast forward to Oct 17th 2005. 3o weeks pregnant. I was going for a scan and Tobyn and Steve were coming too. This was Tobyns first look at the baby and we were all very excited. I was taken to have my BP checked and it was very high. I had to wait for a few minutes and they took it again. The boys were getting a little concerned. Eventually I went back out to see them and we were all taken through for the scan. It was quite exciting and Tobyn loved it. But things were to change quite dramatically. The Dr said I had to be admitted. My BP was dangerously high and she didn't think we would see the night through without delivering the baby. But the hope was that I would be able to have the 2 shots of steroids to develop the babies lungs. We needed 24 hours for that to work, preferably 48 hours. Fortunately for the baby we got that 48 hours. Things stabilised and the hope was that we could get to at least 36 weeks. I was settling in for being in hospital for another 4-6 weeks. My friends had brought in books, crafts, treats, crosswords and fruit. I had the computer and the hospital had wireless internet so I was able to do some on line shopping.
Oct 21st I had another scan and they were pretty happy that the baby was growing and the amniotic fluid was OK. Carry on!
The night of Oct 21st things went down hill fast. I thought I was constipated and asked for something. They gave me some prune juice, which fortunately I didn't drink. Early on the 22nd the nurses were quite concerned and called the on call Dr. He decided to send me down to labour and delivery. I was petrified, I was alone and had no idea of what was going on. As it turned out my organs were starting to shut down. I wanted to ring Steve and the nurse said she would tell him when he came in. Well it was 6am and he wasn't coming in until 9ish. Finally they allowed me to ring him and he came immediately. Fortunately Tobyn had been staying at a friends that night and she just kept him until Steve called her again.
I was so lucky to have some wonderful Drs on board. The on call Dr wanted me to labour, my perinatologist said no way this is an emergency, thank goodness for her!!! I was taken through to theatre and we didn't know if Steve would be able to be there. The anaesthesiologist took one look at my belly and the bruising on it and said "this is pitiquing (sp?), we have to do a general!" This meant Steve wasn't able to come in.
So baby was born and I took a while to come through from the anaesthetic. Steve was very concerned. Eventually he was able to see me and I was not well. I actually kept going down hill. My red blood cells were dropping and they thought I might need a blood transfusion. Fortunately I didn't! Steve and Tobyn got to see Isaac and were so excited. But he was tiny, he weighed only 2lb. But the good news was he was healthy, no genetic problems and his lungs were strong.
I was still on Magnesium Sulphate for the high blood pressure. What an awful medication!!! I had very vivid nightmares, blurred vision and generally felt awful. I thought I was going to die! I was so sick and Isaac doing so well that they brought Isaac to see me which is extremely unusual. I had such blurry vision that I couldn't get a good look at him. I didn't get to hold him for 5 days. Steve filled me in 3 times a day with how Isaac was doing. He had wonderful nurses and Drs and he was very strong and doing extrememly well!
I am so thankful for the care I got while so sick. I am so thankful for the care Isaac got for the 9 weeks he was in hospital.
We are so fortunate to have our 2 boys, we thought we might not have any of our own natural children. We are truly thankful!!!
I will save Isaacs time in the neonatal unit for another post, this post is long enough already!!!

The first 2 photos show just how small he was and how much he has grown. The teddy was given to him by Tobyn and has a recordable thing inside. Tobyn had recorded "I love you young Isaac" It still plays and just this afternoon Isaac has been going around the house holding the teddy and saying "I love you young Isaac" too cute!!!


He looks a bit like a deer in the headlights here LOL.


Look how grown up he is, putting teddy on the horse for a ride. His imagination is taking off right now. He is really into playing tea parties and pretending to use medical stuff.




I know I had this photo on here a few days ago, but here he is my BIG boy.



Whew, that took a while but I wanted to get this down. I haven't written this down anywhere else so while it is still pretty clear in my mind here it all is.