Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Not as bad as I expected!

Now I know I need to blog about our holiday so for those waiting for pics and stories, trust me they are coming soon!!! But I had to blog about today before it goes into the recesses of my mind.

For those that know me this won't come as surprising but for those just getting to know me here's a little insight into my psyche. I am relatively shy, I can put on a good front but deep down I am shy with a low self esteem. I find entering new situations with people I kind of know but only a little very hard. I think that people have pre-judged me and don't like me. This leads into today, I made myself take Isaac to the community playgroup. For months and months I have had a good excuse not to go because Isaac has slept in the morning up until now. If I took him out of his routine he was a nightmare. Well now he is no longer having an early morning sleep I can go to morning playgroups. So no more excuses!!! Gaylene has been nagging me for months, today playgroup was at her house so I thought this a good start. And of course it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. I put on my smile and chatted as though I am not shy at all and everything was fine. Now I have made the first step I can continue and Isaac gets more time with children his age...

YAY ME!!!

I still feel awkward though. We live in a pretty affluent community and although we fit in financially I think people look at me and think I don't fit. I grew up in a family that had very little money. I got teased at school because of what I wore and the bike I rode and I still have hang ups about it. I do wish we didn't live in the town I grew up in. I think I would find it so much easier, even though I don't live in the same community and Tobyn doesn't go to the same school, there are a couple of girls I went to school with that have children at Tobyns school. I need to take my own advice! We told Tobyn tonight to live for today, make the most of today. I think most of the time I do I just have occasional lapses.

I am so fortunate with what I have. I have a wonderful husband who adores me, I have 2 wonderful little boys who make me laugh and scream every day! I live in a lovely home and have so many amazing experiences, I am A lucky woman!!!

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Well done you! Yvette - I have got to know you over the internet and I think that you are great and a fantastic PI too! If I think back to the girls that I was at school with, I have sooooo much more than they do and I'm not talking just financially. I too have a great DH and wonderful children - you, I know, have more than them. So you lift up your head, GF, and be proud of you and what you've achieved and what you have. And remember, there's my ScrapCamp to come to next year where you'll meet lots of wonderful scrapping ladies